Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
