I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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