hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
