So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
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