i permit you to call me
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize