Duck Duck Cougar?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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