the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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