I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
