He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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