I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
