If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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