i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
me + whiskey = a bad person
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
