the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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