I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
