Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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