Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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