Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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