He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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