So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
