I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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