I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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