Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
