ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
cat food counts as protein by the way
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
