so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
