was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
