I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
