his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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