My hand turned me down
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
