I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Blood and glitter go together right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
