That's intense
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
