I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
