New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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