I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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