WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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