hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize