People with herpes should wear stickers.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
