im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
