this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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