My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize