DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
