Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
