Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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