ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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