If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
