You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
