Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
