Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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