This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
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'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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