That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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