Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
