Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
