and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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