She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
