I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
