It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
