just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
