the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
