Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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