I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
