you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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